Irreparable

I
My behavior
has caused irrepar
—able damage.

I’m sorry seems to be the only
phrase with meaning from me
to you, and still, I imagine
for you it means nothing.

I am low, yes. I did things.
I lied.

II
I did what I wanted. And yes,
I wanted it, want it still. I was not
tricked, duped, or manipulated.

I manipulated.

III
I made a choice. I always have
a choice. I chose, I do choose.

I will not make excuses. Excuses
are tired and soggy. I will not attempt
to explain it away. You may ask
and I will answer.

IV
I will not blame.

I will not run from the yelling
Voice, who caught up with me
to form the words,
to say,
just go

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